How to Be a More Present Mom (Without Losing Yourself in the Process)

Presence is one of the greatest gifts we can offer our children—but let’s be honest, it’s not always easy.

Between the noise, the needs, the constant giving, and the inner tug-of-war between who we are and who we’re becoming—it’s no wonder so many of us feel reactive, overstimulated, or distracted.

But here’s the truth: you don’t need to be perfect to be present.

You just need to be aware.
To pause.
To choose differently—one breath at a time.

Presence is a muscle, not a personality trait. And like any muscle, it gets stronger with intention and practice.

So if you're longing to feel more grounded, less reactive, and more connected to your children—and to yourself—here are gentle, doable ways to begin.

1. Put Away the Distractions

Let’s start with the most obvious (but also most challenging) one: the phone.

Our devices can become emotional crutches—places we go to when we feel overwhelmed, bored, overstimulated, or disconnected. But every scroll takes us out of the now and into someone else’s world.

Try this: Set your phone on “Do Not Disturb” for specific hours. Or use a 15-minute timer when you’re with your child—no distractions, just presence. You’d be amazed at how a short window of undivided attention can transform the connection.

2. Calm Your Nervous System

Reactiveness often isn’t about the moment—it’s about a dysregulated nervous system.

If you’re always on edge, snapping more than you’d like, or feeling overstimulated by small things, it’s likely because your body is stuck in fight-or-flight.

What helps:

• Take 3 slow, deep belly breaths.

• Place one hand on your heart and one on your womb.

• Whisper: “I’m safe. I’m here.”

This is how we return to ourselves. And it’s from this place that we can return to our children.

3. Use a Timer to Anchor Presence

If the idea of being “fully present all day” feels unrealistic—good. Because it is.

Try this instead: choose a time window each day where you practice presence.

Set a 15- or 30-minute timer, and let that be your “presence pocket.” During that time, put your phone away. Sit with your child. Watch them play. Join them. Let the moment lead. Let it be enough.

When the timer ends, so does the practice. This structure helps you build the presence muscle without burnout.

4. Adjust Expectations & Systems

So often we feel like we’re failing because we’re holding ourselves to unrealistic expectations.

Take a look at your day—your tasks, your schedule, your energy levels. Are you expecting yourself to do more than is humanly possible? Are your systems (or lack of them) working against you?

Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is lower the bar and realign your systems to support your actual life—not the life you think you should be living.

5. Practice Breathwork or Meditation

Presence isn’t something you “just do.”
It’s something you build.

And meditation, breathwork, or gentle embodiment practices are the gym for your nervous system and mind.

Even 5 minutes a day of stillness—of coming home to your breath—can rewire your brain, soothe your body, and open the door to deeper connection.

Try placing one hand on your heart, one on your belly, and simply being. Let the moment hold you before you hold everyone else.

6. Get Into Energetic Alignment

Here’s the truth: when you’re out of alignment, it’s hard to be present.

If you're exhausted, ignoring your needs, and trying to pour from an empty cup, your energy is scattered—and presence requires wholeness.

Ask yourself:

• What do I need to feel more like me today?

• What’s one small thing I can do to nourish myself first?

When you're in alignment, presence becomes natural. It flows through you, rather than feeling like something you need to force. If you could use some help with this, check out 7 Days to Awaken Your Feminine Energy. This is a short daily movement practice that you can do to tap into your energy and honour your rhythm as a woman and a mother. If you nee help filling your own cup, this is it!

7. Let Presence Be Sacred, Not Perfect

Presence isn’t about saying yes to every moment.
It’s not about martyrdom or perfection.

It’s about being fully in the moment you’re in, when you choose to be.
It’s about returning, again and again.

Let it be imperfect.
Let it be enough.
Let it be sacred.

A gentle reminder:

You are not behind.
You are not doing it wrong.
You are allowed to grow and stretch and try again.

Every time you come back to your breath, you’re modeling something powerful for your children.

Not perfection.

But presence.
Self-regulation.
Awareness.
Love.

And that is more than enough.

Much love, mama!